Skip to content
Preferment Course HubPublished by Rarified Life

Adjusting to retirement

How long does it take to adjust to retirement?

Last updated:

There is no fixed timeline for adjusting to retirement: it can take months or several years, depending on how much of your identity was tied to work and whether you plan your next chapter on purpose.

Rarified Life's free presentation describes smart, capable women who "get 8 months into retirement and stop answering the phone," and a Preferment participant described spending "a few years wandering around like a goldfish in a bowl." Both show that drifting can last a long time without a plan.

Part of the guide to Rarified Life's life after retirement course and retirement coaching.

What are the five emotional stages of retirement?

A widely used description lists five stages: pre-retirement, honeymoon, disenchantment, reorientation, and stability. It draws on the phases of retirement described by gerontologist Robert Atchley. Not everyone goes through every stage, and not always in this order.

  1. Stage 1

    Pre-retirement

    The run-up to your last day, when people picture what retirement will be like and start to let go of work.

  2. Stage 2

    Honeymoon

    The early stretch of freedom: travel, rest, projects put off for years. It can feel like a long vacation.

  3. Stage 3

    Disenchantment

    The novelty fades and the loss of structure, status, and colleagues sinks in. This is where many feel lost.

  4. Stage 4

    Reorientation

    A deliberate rethink: what matters now, how to spend time, and who to be without the job.

  5. Stage 5

    Stability

    A settled routine that feels like your own, with purpose and a sense of identity beyond work.

What makes adjusting take longer?

Adjustment tends to drag when work supplied most of your structure, status, and social life, and nothing replaces them. Rarified Life's Preferment approach names that gap directly: the old model of retirement "was never built for someone like you."

A sudden or unplanned exit, health changes, and money worries can also lengthen it. Coaching cannot fix finances or health, so bring in the right professionals for those.

Where retirement transition coaching fits

Retirement transition coaching is designed for the disenchantment and reorientation stages, and ideally before them. Rarified Life's course works through Identity, Motivation, Alignment, Accountability, and Launch over eight weeks, which gives the reorientation stage a clear structure.

Read more about retirement transition coaching with Anne van Leynseele.

Keep reading

Questions about adjusting to retirement

More answers on the retirement coaching and course FAQ.

How long does it take to adjust to retirement?
There is no single timeline; it depends on how sudden the change was, your health, finances, relationships, and how tied your identity was to work. Rarified Life's presentation describes capable women who "get 8 months into retirement and stop answering the phone." Structured work, like an 8-week course, gives the adjustment a shape.See this answer in the full FAQ
What are the five emotional stages of retirement?
A widely used description lists pre-retirement, honeymoon, disenchantment, reorientation, and stability. It draws on gerontologist Robert Atchley's phases of retirement. People do not all pass through every stage or in order. Rarified Life does not publish its own stage model; Preferment focuses on building identity and purpose at any stage.See this answer in the full FAQ
Is it normal to feel lost after retiring?
Yes, it is common, especially if your job was a large part of who you were. One Preferment participant quoted on rarifiedlife.com described spending "a few years wandering around like a goldfish in a bowl." If low mood persists or worsens, talk with a doctor or licensed counselor.See this answer in the full FAQ
What is retirement transition coaching?
Retirement transition coaching supports the shift itself: the stretch before and after your last day at work, when routine, identity, and relationships all change at once. Rarified Life's free presentation says its plan can start "even if your last day at work is still years away," so you do not need to be retired already to begin.See this answer in the full FAQ
How do I separate my identity from my career?
Start by describing yourself without your job title or the words "I used to." Rarified Life's presentation promises a real answer to "So, what do you do?" in 8 weeks. The Identity module of the Preferment course is built around exactly this separation.See this answer in the full FAQ